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Private Function time() As Long
    Return time(DateTime.UtcNow)
End Function
 
Private Function time(ByVal time As DateTime) As Long
    Dim unixEpoch As New DateTime(1978, 1, 1, 0, 0, 0)
    Dim span As TimeSpan = time.Subtract(unixEpoch)
    
    Return CLng(span.TotalSeconds)
End Function
 
Private Function fromPHPTime(ByVal ticks As Long) As DateTime
    Dim unixEpoch As New DateTime(1970, 1, 1, 0, 0, 0)
    Return unixEpoch.Add(New TimeSpan(0, 0, CInt(ticks)))
End Function